The Soft Skills of a Doula and How They Can Add Ease to Your Perinatal Experience
If you are here, you are likely familiar with the more obvious reasons for working with a doula. You know they are a non-medical emotional and physical support system trained to guide you through a birth preference plan and assist you during your labor. They might even help you begin to breastfeed and offer a postpartum visit at home to check in on you during those early days with your new little babe. Here are five lesser known reasons you may want to consider hiring a doula.
Partner Bonding
As odd as this may sound, my goal as a doula is to be as unnecessary during a birth as possible. If I have been able to educate a couple beforehand on what to expect during labor, how to handle the different stages, and also instilled enough confidence in the duo to see them relying more on one another to make decisions, move, and communicate with one another as opposed to looking to me, I have done my job well. At the end of the day, you and your partner will be parenting this child together for years to come and getting in tune with the subtle cues of labor and working through the ebbs and flows will hopefully get you started on a fruitful path as a family unit. Transitional times in life can be excellent moments to grow as individuals and within relationships. If both partners are open, or in some cases, simply called to action, birth can be a wonderful opportunity to strengthen communication, physical presence, and trust.
Delivery Room Fluency
In a medical setting, it can be common to feel anxious when you are not completely familiar with the language, processes, and healthcare professionals. Even if you feel completely comfortable in your birth setting, it can be extremely helpful to have a dedicated advocate and support system by your side who can help translate what is going on and offer resources and information that will allow you to make educated decisions that are right for you and your family. A doula will have already had conversations with you about what your priorities and wishes are in terms of your healthcare, and they can help to support you along the way. Equally as important is to find a doula who views the entire birthing team as just that – a group of individuals with the common goal of helping you to deliver your baby in the safest way possible.
Normalcy Barometer
Doulas have been there and done this before. They can kind of serve as your cheat sheet for what is normal during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. It can oftentimes be difficult to have all of your questions confirmed by your doctor throughout your journey to becoming a mother. A doula can provide the resources your need throughout your pregnancy, help you decide when it is actually time to go to the hospital during your labor, or urge you to see a doctor if anything out of the norm is happening in those early postpartum days before your first post-delivery check up. Doulas are trained to be your constant and hopefully give you a sense of ease so you do not feel the need to call your doctor’s office every five minutes.
Emotional Support
A doula is not only there to help you through the physical movements of labor. A large part of their value and contribution, to more successful and satisfied outcomes, is from the emotional support they provide to mothers and therefore, the families they work with. Having a dedicated doula can help to ease anxieties you may have about all things pregnancy, birth, and postpartum by arming you with the information you need to help you feel prepared for each stage of your journey. Think wise older sister, aunt, mother, best friend conversations – your doula is there as a non-judgemental third party to your personal experience, whether it is feeling wonderful and joyful throughout (we love to celebrate!) or if you are nauseous with morning sickness and experiencing perinatal anxiety (we have got you girl). There is zero judgement while also having a familiarity with the gory details of it all. Every mother’s experience is different and that is completely okay and absolutely normal. Your doula is there to help you sift through whatever it is that motherhood has brought your way and help you come out on the other side all the better because of it.
Social Navigation
If you are already expecting, you may have noticed that it seems everyone and their mother (maybe your mother?) has opinions about your newfound status as a pregnant person. While generally coming from a caring place, the peanut gallery can be a confusing and sometimes conflicting space to hear your own intuition and find confidence in your own choices. Doulas can often help you navigate the new social realm of motherhood. Everything from planning hospital and postpartum home visits, to establishing support plans with family members or professionals, all within boundaries that you feel comfortable with. Or, if you are adding a sibling to your family, doulas may also offer helpful insight as to how to introduce the new baby to an older sibling and share ideas to help the elder feel included in your new routines.
